This past week for some reason has been one of the hardest weeks in a very long time, between the emotions of being so proud of David, being mad at myself for not being at Tony's, the responsibilities of the candle lighting this Sunday and all the Christmas memories I am spent. Each day seems to last an eternity. My focus is gone, ambition depleted and Christmas spirit, no matter how hard I try to pretend is non existent.
Surprisingly, yesterday I managed to clean my house, cook food, and prepare for the wonderful day of celebrating we have today.
I will head of to watch my son graduate, I am sure I will shed a tear, mostly because I am so proud of him and all his accomplishments, partly because I will be missing Tony. I will approach the day with caution, my home will be filled with a mix of people that are not together often,some the last time I saw them was at Tonys celebration of life (i still have a hard time saying funeral). I will remind myself how lucky I am to have my husband and sons that fill my heart everyday with love. They are truly the glue that holds me together. I will be grateful for the family and friends that help carry my heavy heart during these times.
Today, I will put an end to this long week, I will celebrate all the accomplishments that all my children have made in their lifetimes, and I will smile, laugh, cry, and look to the sky hoping to catch a glimpse on my angel.
