Annual Camping Trip

Every year our family and friends head on up to our property for a few days of fun and relaxation. This year, the group was smaller, at times, life has a way of getting in the way of living it. I am starting to think that our summers need to go back to the way they were when I was growing up. They started with the last day of school towards the beginning of June (MAYBE the middle if there were a lot of snow days), and ended AFTER labor day. Now these kids have a million snow days which cut their summers short. With families and events, narrowing down a time that is good for 20 people is getting harder and harder.

At first my reaction was panic, I thought now that Tony was not with us, it was changing. That may be true, but I realized something very important. I was given exactly what was needed. I thought I would be able to breeze through the trip, after all I was smart and planned a "pre-camping" trip to prepare my physique. HA! Nothing could have been further from the truth. The emotional pain hit me the morning we were to leave upon awakening at 5am. Panic set in. What happens if my home burns down? Now, mind you, I have always been frightened of fire, I unplug everything and hope but this time seemed more desperate. My photographs will be destroyed. I immediately went into irrational mode, I gathered important photos off the tables and walls, a shoebox full of memories, all my photo discs and took them with us! Yes, sounds absurd that a grown woman would resort to this, but if I lost these last remaining tangible bits of Tony's existence what kind of mother would I be?

With that thought embedded in my mind, I packed the last few things into the camper before setting out at six AM. I felt much calmer with the security of memories traveling with us.

No mowing this trip just good old fashioned R&R! I sat down by the dock and read, we played games by the fire and went out to eat and walk to streets of Lake Placid one evening. BBQ at The Tail of The Pup! What a wonderful time. We hiked to the top of the mountain and all put on our "downtown tony" shirts for a group photo. I am sure the heaviness that filled my heart was lifted by the fact that I was surrounded with love. True love. This, is where irony comes into play, as much as I was missing my dear sweet boy, the fact that this trip had so many people missing eased the pain. You see, it was then that I realized, this trip was exactly how it should be. The group photo was missing a whole group of families and friends, NOT just Tony.

We headed down the mountain for dinner at the campfire only to be greeted by rain. We made the best of it and played catch phrase in the barn. It poured that evening, and I knew that this beautiful family of mine would survive the beast that was placed along our paths. That Tony's memory was a good and strong one and will fill our hearts with a peace and happiness for the rest of our lives. This I am certain and most grateful for.

The next morning left a beautiful fog over the mountains and lake. It was peaceful as we packed up to head back to our reality. Once everyone had left, I headed down to where Tonys stone is and spent a bit of time talking to him. It was sad to leave, I always feel closest to Tony at our property! I do know that his love will be in my heart, his memory in my head and whether I bring photos with me or not, his presence will fill every inch of my being for the rest of my life.